We's in California

Saturday, June 17, 2006

But I want to take my sweater off. It's HOT!

It's getting really really hot here. So hot you could fry an egg. In the summer apparently all the smog from LA seeps down into the valley and just sits there like a big lid keeping us nice and hot. A few days ago it was over 100 degrees. Celcius. Actually Fahreheit but that's still about 38 in Canada degrees. Oi.
As everyone knows there are two kinds of people in this world: Those who have paid $10 for a vodka and orange juice, and those who think it's insane to do so. Ok, there are 3 types of people because I'm actually both of those people now, after paying $28 for three drinks at a concert venue on Hollywood, plus a two dollar tip because the bartender made me laugh when he said $28. I also didn't want to look thrifty, you know, those those kinds of guys who don't pay $9.33 USD for a drink. Why did I do it? My cheap brother's gonna punch me in the face next time he sees me just for doing so, and I deserve it.

I would like to quickly re-visit why I
don't like the American coverage of the World Cup, because I think I've pinpointed exactly why I don't like it. The announcers don't just call the game, they give advice. And they have new advice every five minutes. I really don't think someone from Topeka, Kansas has any business giving anyone from the slums of Sao Poalo whose name starts with R and ends in O (which is Brazil's whole team and most of the support staff) advice and soccer tips for 90 minutes. In 2002 on TSN in Canada I fondly remember the announcing as concise, classy, and informed. It also happened to be British. I'm actually cheering for the Amerikans this year. The soccer world would collectively soil themselves if they won, let a lone make the finals (which they won't). Here's a screenshot of how I now watch and record the games. Brilliant and still just pennies a glass. Except for the twenty some hundred dollar computer. I realize now that Dayna and I have jumped about 80 years in technology in one fell swoop seeing as our last TV was I about a 3 inch black and white with that plastic brown fake wood siding and rabbit ears. It was the new model that plays "talkies".

So. If you think you know how to have a good time, I've got a little news for you. You don't. Unless you're like me and are going to San Diego next week for a little something called Code Camp. And if you don't think it will rock, check out the Strat on their web site. It's a Fender. I actually love going to these things because I total nerd. It's going to be me and (hopefully) hundreds of older male computer programmers that know how to read binary speak Klingon. I convinced my work to foot the bill. The only problem is if you look at the schedule of seminars you can see an obvious conflict. Do they honestly expect me to choose between "Object Relational Mapping with Nhibernate" and "EJB 3: A Comparison with EJB 2"?! I mean COME ON! Jer knows that if you ever do have any problems with a computer, the first thing you're going to want to do is make sure your SoundBlaster is working.
Anyway I'm going to Code Camp and nobody can stop me.

You know you're in LA when:

You see a car that's painted like a Louis Vuitton handbag.

You know you've been in LA too long when:

You see a car that's painted like a Louis Vuitton handbag, a
nd think it's just fabulous!


  • Mia Hamm is from Selma, Alabama. If Selma, Alabama can produce someone who can play the game like Mia Hamm, it stands to good reason that Topeka, Kansas can at least produce someone who can talk about the game (and give bits of decent advice during the commentary).

    The British give advice during their football commentary as well. Giving unsolicited advice is a national preoccupation. They just have a centuries-old capacity to sneak it in so it goes unnoticed. Much like everything else they do...just ask the French in Quebec..I think their license plate makes some reference to being run over by the Queen's finest while they were tucked in their chaise lounges dreaming of crepes. No crepes for Jacques the next morning though. Just great piles of tripe, fin n' haddy, and that perennial favorite, rolly duff bathed in treacle. The latter is a pound of lard rolled in currents and covered in corn syrup. So, bon appetit, and enjoy the put it in the back of the old onion bag soccer coverage brought to you by an ex-colony.

    By Anonymous miss daisy, at June 19, 2006  

  • Mia Hamm. She was the one stripped down to a sports bra on the cover of Newsweek a few years ago, right? That was sort of gross.

    By Blogger Gareth, at June 20, 2006  

  •, that was one of Hamm's team mates, Brandi Chastain. And you slag Topeka for having no knowledge of the game?

    By Anonymous miss daisy, at June 20, 2006  

  • Where is Topoka anyways?

    By Anonymous chris, at June 20, 2006  

  • I think slag was a dinobot and not an adjective. Also, Michelle Akers is all-time leading scorer for the U.S. with 92 goals in 109 international games. She has way better hair than Mia Hamm. Make sure your soundblaster is properly installed.
    just copy and paste this into your soundblaster browser search engine and take a look... middle one on the left is a man

    By Anonymous Jeremy, at June 20, 2006  

  • Adjective?? Slag, as in "to slag", as in colloquial verb.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at June 20, 2006  

  • Regardless, he was a dinobot, a tricerotops, gravely voice, walked really slow.

    By Anonymous clitke, at June 21, 2006  

  • Do girls play soccer?

    By Blogger Gareth, at June 21, 2006  

  • this guy does, he's megging people on the street.

    By Anonymous clitke, at June 21, 2006  

  • Do girls play soccer? Shame on you. Without considering a definitive answer we can still safely assume one "girl" will be kicking some orbs around if your wife reads that query. No doubt the spectacle would be even more entertaining than the World Cup. Any chance passes are sold through that price-gouging Ticketmaster?

    By Anonymous miss daisy, at June 21, 2006  

  • Why do you write as if this is a twelve page English essay and not a Blog comment? Quite the query indeed.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at June 21, 2006  

  • Now that you guys have cable TV and a fancy computer to watch shows, you can catch "Falcon Beach" on the ABC Family channel. Do you know about this teen drama filmed at Winnipeg Beach? It's gotta be the first Canadian-produced show airing in the US that isn't filmed in Vancouver, Toronto or Montreal. But Lake Winnipeg. Apparently, the only way the ABC Family channel would chip in $$$ to help produce it is if they set it in a "New England" town. The show's producer was clever in getting around that. An article in the Toronto Star explained it.

    Anyway, I thought it's cool to see Manitoba representing.

    By Blogger Carlos, at June 22, 2006  

  • Gareth:

    When you go to San Diego, make sure to ride the trolley. They just added a new extension last year.

    Oh, sure, you can ride it down to Tijuana and go there, and buy all manner of naughty accessories.

    But you seem like a clean-cut lad. So you wouldn't do that. Riding the trolley around the town is good clean fun.

    By Blogger Scott, at June 23, 2006  

  • Another interesting thing about Falcon Beach is that now that it's been picked up by a big US network this is the last season it will be filmed in Manitoba! Sounds like progress. We try to produce good quality tv and movies so we can get more business up here but when we get too good at it they move the whole thing back to the States. Seems as though we should stick to making quality shit like Christmas Rush starring Dean Caine and Category 7: The End of the World starring Shannen Doherty and Randy Quaid:

    By Blogger Steve & Gillian, at June 23, 2006  

  • Hey Gareth, I saw your car yesterday.

    I was biking down Kenaston (bad idea) and saw a really, really crappy Saturn with the remnants of an anti-roxy sticker on it.

    Neat, huh?

    By Anonymous chris, at June 23, 2006  

  • Sweet. Every time I see a Saturn I cry because I'm so happy I'm not driving one anymore. It just took me a while to remember which one's Kenaston. Oh no, I'm not even from Winnipeg anymore!!!

    By Blogger Gareth, at June 23, 2006  

  • I haven't seen my Saturn in 9 days 'cause it's been in the shop getting a new starter. How the heck does it take 9 days to put in a starter!

    By Blogger Steve & Gillian, at June 23, 2006  

  • steve, your forgetting that movie with richard g and j lo, the dancing one at albert st. burgers, you know the one, he's really into ballroom dancing or something. just tremendous.

    By Anonymous clitke, at June 24, 2006  

  • I saw a decal of Calvin peeing on a Saturn logo. It was on a Ford soccer van from Kansas. Go figure.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at June 25, 2006  

  • That's not the only Louis Vuitton car in LA! I saw a Toyota version in West Hollywood this past weekend. Drunken gay guys were climbing all over it and posing for pictures.

    By Blogger Patrick, at September 04, 2006  

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