californiaflagnowriting

We's in California

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

1,2,3,4, immigration, facial scarring, sharks, and The Dude.

ONE:
I'm not really sure how big a deal this is in Canada right now, but there has been a lot of noise here in the States and especially in LA about the new US immigration bill that basically sets out to make illegal immigration illegal. The proposal basically is to not only make it easier for low skilled workers to come to the States to work legally, but to also give citizenship to millions of illegal immigrants who have already been here for a while, (which Dayna or I would never ever have a shot at by the way). If we wanted it. After the protest of about 1/2 million people in downtown LA over the weekend, on my way to work on Monday I saw about 40 latino highschool kids walking down the boulevard holding signs about the bill. All this week Mexican/Mexican-American highschool kids have been walking out of schools and onto freeways to protest and also replacing American (as in the America that is giving them a free education and health care, yes I said health care, which they wouldn't have a sniff at in Mexico), with Mexican flags outside their schools.

Dayna and I, who have just legally moved down here as skilled (I'd like to think so anyway) but technically one year temporary workers in the healthcare and IT industry, have had to spend literally months filling out forms, waited anxiously for legal documents in the mail, have driven down to the Mexican border no less than three times to wait hours in the sun outside the immigration office, and worst of all once before I got my California driver's license I was refused the right to purchase a lighter at a gas station! I guess it feels like right now it's almost impossible to move here legally, but it seems fairly easy to get by and receive citizenship once your come here illegally and use services other people pay for for a few years. Once you hop the border you're home free, which is not to be confused with "making a run for the border" which involves skipping 3rd year comp-sci classes at the U of M twice a week and driving to that Taco Bell near the Macs and the Liquid Lounge. Or is it the Lava Lounge? You know the one.


TWO:

If you don't personally know me, at least you may have discerned by now that I'm in my 20's, have learned to both read as well as write, and can tie my own laces (unless they're on my skates, which is a whole new ballgame). So then why on Monday did I test to see if then iron was hot by holding it close to my face and accidentally burning myself? I really wish I had a short witty answer for that. I think the real answer is that I'm a complete idiot.

It's the kind of thing that you sort of have to bring up and explain to people at the office. Either they know you ironed your own face, or they think you get in crazy knife fights on the weekend, which I do not. Apparently I iron shirts on the weekend. And my face.

THREE:
I bought a little book that lists most of the spots in California and Hawaii to surf. For each spot it shows where the break is, directions to get there, and info about conditions, best times to go, etc. One of the spots it described as "sharky" during the fall. I thought it seemed a bit casual to be talking about the fact that you may have your torso snapped in half by a 15 foot animal with about 9 rows of teeth as "sharky". Is this how real surfers talk about these things?

So how was surfing today?

Pretty good. Bit sharky. Still pretty good though.

Hot Dang!

FOUR:
It's really fun to go to showings of movies that have been out for a few years. The audience is completely in tune with the film because not only have they seen it before probably many times, but they like it enough to gather with others and see it again. We saw the Big Lebowski this week at a small theatre on Beverley. Aside from confirming my belief yet again that it has the best opening ten minutes of any movie ever, Van Nuys gets it's named dropped like it's, well, hot. After The Dude's car gets stolen it turns up in a parking lot in Van Nuys. In movies it seems like you could almost always replace the words "Van Nuys" with "A Poo And Pee Filled Poo Hole on the Edge of Town" and you would get the same effect desired by the writer. Anway, we missed this earlier this year which looks pretty fun.

We're coming back to Manitoba the last two weeks in July so, you know, get really excited for that.

33 Comments:

  • Gareth, im speechless.

    By Anonymous clitke, at March 30, 2006  

  • Gareth, im speechless.

    By Anonymous clitke, at March 30, 2006  

  • Bummer 'bout ironing your face...although you do look rather daring now with that scar.

    Once when I was biking I wanted to see what would happen if I tried coasting with both my hands and feet off the bike at the same time and I ended up running into my neighbor's garbage cans while he happened to be watching out his window.

    A-W-K-W-A-R-D-!

    By Blogger Steve & Gillian, at March 30, 2006  

  • The New Beverly Theatre is really great. You'd think there'd be more theatres like that in LA, but sadly, since the cable TV and home video revolutions, there's just not as much call for them. Sad, really. It is better seeing them in a "community" atmosphere.

    You should check out some of the "Grindhouse" nights, I think fourth Tuesday of the month.

    By Blogger Scott, at March 30, 2006  

  • What's the connection between Lebowski and Richard Nixon? I guess I should see the movie again, but it's easier to ask the internet... er, people on the internet.

    By Anonymous Blade, at March 30, 2006  

  • Joel, I didn't see my buddies die face down in the mud in Vietnam to have you asking questions like that.

    I may be wrong but all I can think of is something about Walter's obsession with Nam and therefore Nixon. Maybe? Also, apparently the real Dude as well as Jeff Bridges has shown up for these things in the past.

    By Blogger Gareth, at March 30, 2006  

  • So, did it work? The test I mean. Was it hot?

    By Anonymous chris, at March 30, 2006  

  • If question is "Was the iron hot?" then the answer is simple. Yes, it was hot. Some docs at my work say that the story about the lady who was ironing and the phone rang and she answered the iron and severly burnt herself is true.

    I don't find that story funny at all though.

    Irons don't really feel that hot until to put them directly on your face anyway so...I'm surprised it doesn't happen more often. Ironing your face I mean.

    By Blogger Gareth, at March 30, 2006  

  • There are numerous cosmetic companies that offer for sale facial wrinkle removers. Seems a "cooler" alternative.

    By Anonymous Al, at March 30, 2006  

  • Actually, Gareth, to tie things together, the Dude's apartment has a picture of Nixon bowling on the wall. A little research and journalistic instinct, my man. Just look at the site FAQ.

    By Anonymous Blade, at March 30, 2006  

  • Al. I really do try to not laugh at your jokes. But it doesn't work.

    By Blogger Gareth, at March 30, 2006  

  • It seems to make perfect sense that someone capable of placing an iron on their face ought to be denied access to a lighter at a gasoline station. Really...think about it...flame...petrol...hmmm?? Don't care of your legal or illegal. I just don't want to be the poor s.o.b. fueling up next to you when you decide to go for the answer to the question.

    By Anonymous chancesare, at March 30, 2006  

  • Q: How did Helen Keller burn her ear?
    A: She answered the iron.

    Q: How did Helen Keller burn her other ear?
    A: They called back.

    I myself was walking down a steep hill one fine icy Iowa winter day and was, um, scratching myself inappropriately. Of course, I slipped on the ice, fell down on my hand, and broke my finger. I then went back to my room, MacGyvered a splint out of a clothespeg turned inside out with some duct tape, and went to class. I went to the student health service after that.

    "How did you break your finger, Dave?"
    "I slammed it in the door of my truck."

    By Anonymous Dave the Ubergeek, at March 30, 2006  

  • Very nice! I found a place where you can
    get a new game system, Just go to the site below
    and put in your zip to see what's available in your area.
    I sold mine and got some extra cash!

    game system

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at March 31, 2006  

  • terrific. i need some extra cash. i'm in!!!!

    By Anonymous bobby knight, at March 31, 2006  

  • You're wasting your time here, anonymous. Your little ploy doesn't work with Canadians b/c, wouldn't you know it, we don't have zip codes! I was just craving a little extra cash earlier this morning but it looks like I'm not eligible b/c of the exclusive nature of your site.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at March 31, 2006  

  • So, think I can prevent the ads (which I believe are done automatically by someone's program) by making people type in the word on the picture. The only downside is that this my friend Jer might get confused by this requirement and start banging his keyboard on the side of his monitor. I'll look into it.

    By Blogger Gareth, at March 31, 2006  

  • I don't get it

    By Anonymous Jeremy, at March 31, 2006  

  • hey Gareth, I blew out my knee again in tennis class. why don't you do a post about the history of american foreign policy?

    By Anonymous jeremy, at March 31, 2006  

  • How about posting a photo of Pamela Anderson? Evidently she's a contemporary example of Canadian foreign policy. She's blown the odd body part as well. Ohhhh, that was way too easy.

    By Anonymous simoncowell, at March 31, 2006  

  • simon cowell has a penis for his nose. Evidently, the only thing easy, is sticking it in his own mouth. ooohh that was too easy.

    By Anonymous contestant #1, at March 31, 2006  

  • Again, my mom(s) read this so....

    Jer, you're running out of knees to blow out! American Foreign Policy would probably tell you to, you know, ice the knee, ummm, try stay off it for a few days, keep it raised as much as possible, maybe get some excercises from a physiotherapist to do for it. You know, just take 'er easy.

    By Blogger Gareth, at March 31, 2006  

  • gareth, i had an interview with the winnipeg goldeyes as a marketing manager. i guess i applied last year sometime, they called me out of the blue. how the hell does someone iron their face.

    By Anonymous clitke, at March 31, 2006  

  • they also want to build a WALL between the US and Mexico. like China or Berlin. that's part of it, too.

    By Anonymous kali, at April 01, 2006  

  • Chris, so how'd the interview go?

    By Blogger Steve & Gillian, at April 02, 2006  

  • the interview went really well. but i think my job is a lot better, there is better potential, and its fun. so we'll see, i will know early this week.

    By Anonymous clitke, at April 02, 2006  

  • Gareth old boy, I do believe once you have surpassed the quantum of 25 comments you have a duty to provide a fresh post for the dissection of the waiting audience. No slacking, ok. Get off that surfboard and onto the keyboard.

    By Anonymous chancesare, at April 03, 2006  

  • Yes yes yes....it's coming, hopefully tonight. I have NO idea who you are by the way. If I did I could tailor my writing to better suit your interests and sensibilities!

    By Blogger Gareth, at April 04, 2006  

  • What would persuade you that your writing did not suit my interests or sensibilities? Too many counterpoints? The ultimate objective of any useful discourse is to expand our knowledge, an end that can hardly be accomplished without examination from multiple perspectives. Fran said it best "Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine." I suspect neither of us is sitting in front of a keyboard to hack out a wine review. Keep the stories coming without the tailoring. Anything else would be a bore.

    By Anonymous chancesare, at April 04, 2006  

  • What?

    By Anonymous chris, at April 04, 2006  

  • Fran Tarkenton said THAT? What else should I expect from a guy who set an NFL record for passing yards AND hosted "That's Incredible"? ...great people indeed.

    By Anonymous Blade, at April 04, 2006  

  • where can i make some money??? this is boring.

    By Anonymous bobby knight, at April 04, 2006  

  • You could buy something, then sell it for more than you bought it.

    By Blogger Gareth, at April 06, 2006  

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