We's in California

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

This one's not really worth it.

This entry is more of a lead up into my next entry, which will hopefully be about a town called Calabasas, which is where my work is located. Calabasas reminds me of the town from the Stepford Wives. There's money everywhere. At 2:30 in the afternoon 50 year old women that look 23 drive new SUV's to the Coffee Bean to complain to their friends about their housemaids. Everything's pink. It's America squared times America. And when I'm there I feel alive for the first time in many, many years. Just kidding, but it is very interesting so more about that next time. The rest of this is pretty much filler.

We saw Shopgirl, because we were late for the movie we were planning on seeing. I didn't want to see it, buy Dayna
did. I just...don't...get why Steve Martin and Bill Murray are "geniuses" all of the sudden with their artsy movies about dating 20 year olds. Too many actors write movies these days. I know Bill Murray didn't write Lost in Translation, but it I feel that saying it really helps move this rant along. But nay, all was not lost. For who was standing in front of us in the ticket line that night? You got it...Fred Stoller. We were trying to figure out how we knew him. Dayna made the connection: he is a minor character in Seinfeld, and a comedy writer. Which ties in neatly with what I am writing about. Now that's what I call synergy!
Finally, someone commented here that I would look like a "tourist" and be made fun of by the "locals" if I tried to surf for the first time in January. First off, there's not such thing as locals in LA. Second, I'm not what that person had in mind for what I should do with my Sunday afternoon. Play Super-Nintendo perhaps? Is that what I should have done? Just sit at home and play the Super-Nintendo? Third, I'll just let the pictures speak for themselves.

Ok that last guy isn't even wearing the same thing. I did NOT actually get up for more than 3 seconds, but I did cut my foot pretty bad on those rocks and I am planning on going back next weekend with a shorter board. My board was too long. That's why. It was just too long.

"Accept me as your own, Let me make myself at home, I just ain't a clone, Still got the monsta boy ring tone though." - the streets. (Mental. This guy is absolutely mental. He makes money for saying these things.)


  • You forgot Fred Stoller's compelling role in Dumb and Dumber. "Have you ever heard of the concept of other people?" Anyway, nice to see you are getting an extreme sports lifestyle going there. I suppose it must be hard not to sell out the Man, but if you surf, you're sticking it to him.

    MF Doom - "OK pal, pay 'em like pay pal, so we can be AOK not OK Corral."

    By Anonymous blade, at January 17, 2006  

  • Toes on the nose, bro's!

    By Anonymous steve, at January 17, 2006  

  • YES JOEL! "Get off the phone." I should have made the connection. Dammit!

    By Blogger Gareth, at January 17, 2006  

  • Ah, Calabasas. Lovingly known as "The Yuppie Forest". My in-laws live there... it's totally Stepford, where the entire neighbourhood will turn out to protest a perceived evil, be it a mobile phone mast or someone's house repainted an inappropriate colour.

    You know you're in trouble when you cross the line from the City of Los Angeles and it says "City of Calabasas: Welcome Home. Soar like the eagle, drive like the turtle."

    (Do turtles drive? 'Cause I've never seen a turtle drive. If they did, I bet they'd be in bad-ass lowrider Civics with NOS tanks, trying to make up for their inadequate lower protuberances, zipping all over Mulholland Highway and ploughing down old ladies and keep-right signs. Okay. Need to back off on the caffeine now.)

    I was once waiting in the parking lot of Gelson's in Calabasas listening to the radio at normal volume. It was country music (dare I admit that?) and this woman comes up and demands I turn the noise pollution down and can't I see that country music is symbolic of everything that's wrong with America?

    I could never live there. For all the constantly-present police helicopters and the massive number of grand thefts auto and the gang warfare in Van Nuys and North Hollywood, I'd rather live here than in Calabasas. Or Agoura. Or (chas v'cholilleh!) Westlake Village.

    By Anonymous Dave the Ubergeek, at January 17, 2006  

  • No locals in L.A.?

    You're new to these parts, so you can be forgiven.

    By Blogger James Hames, at January 17, 2006  

  • Callous bastards.

    By Blogger Andrew, at January 18, 2006  

  • Cut my foot pretty bad on those rocks??? Hmmmm? Super-Nintendo….nah…leave that for the Calabasas crowd …ease it down a notch to 64.

    By Anonymous chancesare, at January 24, 2006  

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