Interview with a gang-star.
LA has the perfect example of every stereotype out there. Ever. And this is why I bring it up:
We're sitting at a desk in the bank today. A BMW pulls up. In walks a man.
He has gold teeth.
Apparently he plays for the North Carolina Tar-Heels because he is draped, doo-rag to sneekas in it. Then again maybe he doesn't because he has a debilitating limp. Which I'm sure he's faking. He has 6 gold rings, four on one hand, and two on the other. He has Chanel sunglasses on. Inside. He had a keyring on his back pocket with about 100 keys on it. (which I didn't really "get".) He was sucking a huge sucker at 10 in the morning. (which explains why so many of his teeth needed to be replaced with solid gold.) Etc, etc, etc.
Our banker is nowhere to be found so Dayna and I are leaning back trying hear what he is saying to his banker without laughing which would have probably gotten us shot. Throughout the course of his conversation we picked up the following sentences:
"I was hit with 50 g's yesterday." - 50,000 dollars was deposited into my account. At this point his banker also started referring to thousands as g's. Seriously.
"My account's been blowin' up" - I am doing something illegal and it is quite lucrative.
"I be shown' my face at 'Big in 05'." - I looked it up and it's a VH1 award show. He is going.
"It's hittin' the airwaves on VH1, January 1st. Yu' gonna like it man, me and 14 ladies. I ended up with a good one." - He just finished taping a VH1 dating show with 14 women who all really wanted this person.
"Hit me back." - He said this before hanging up his cell phone. It means please return my call. That was my favorite one because it's subtle, yet super. I use it now.
Anyway, a fairly surreal experience all in all. He made me think of Jay-Z's best line, (or maybe the only one I know) "I'm not a businessman, I'm a business, man." Yes, yes and yes.
(PS: Here is Warren and Suzanna's msn space. From monkeys pulling glasses of peoples faces, to my brother in a tilly hat, it's got it all!)
We're sitting at a desk in the bank today. A BMW pulls up. In walks a man.
He has gold teeth.
Apparently he plays for the North Carolina Tar-Heels because he is draped, doo-rag to sneekas in it. Then again maybe he doesn't because he has a debilitating limp. Which I'm sure he's faking. He has 6 gold rings, four on one hand, and two on the other. He has Chanel sunglasses on. Inside. He had a keyring on his back pocket with about 100 keys on it. (which I didn't really "get".) He was sucking a huge sucker at 10 in the morning. (which explains why so many of his teeth needed to be replaced with solid gold.) Etc, etc, etc.
Our banker is nowhere to be found so Dayna and I are leaning back trying hear what he is saying to his banker without laughing which would have probably gotten us shot. Throughout the course of his conversation we picked up the following sentences:
"I was hit with 50 g's yesterday." - 50,000 dollars was deposited into my account. At this point his banker also started referring to thousands as g's. Seriously.
"My account's been blowin' up" - I am doing something illegal and it is quite lucrative.
"I be shown' my face at 'Big in 05'." - I looked it up and it's a VH1 award show. He is going.
"It's hittin' the airwaves on VH1, January 1st. Yu' gonna like it man, me and 14 ladies. I ended up with a good one." - He just finished taping a VH1 dating show with 14 women who all really wanted this person.
"Hit me back." - He said this before hanging up his cell phone. It means please return my call. That was my favorite one because it's subtle, yet super. I use it now.
Anyway, a fairly surreal experience all in all. He made me think of Jay-Z's best line, (or maybe the only one I know) "I'm not a businessman, I'm a business, man." Yes, yes and yes.
(PS: Here is Warren and Suzanna's msn space. From monkeys pulling glasses of peoples faces, to my brother in a tilly hat, it's got it all!)
posted by Gareth at
Saturday, December 03, 2005
6 Comments:
Mark, You taught me everything I know about Jay-Z. You also taught me everything I know about loving someone...not for their looks, or their hair, or how they contract house building, but for who they are. Inside.
And Chris, to answer your question:
I actually tell them I'm from Brandon, then I slap them and put my finger in their face.
By
Anonymous, at December 04, 2005
Chris, I tell people who live in LA that we are from the Valley and for those who don't know what the Vallwy is, that we are from LA
By
Anonymous, at December 05, 2005
Have you guys been to San Dimas, because i heard that san dimas high school footbal rules.
Gareth:i want you to slap me and put your finger in my face.
Mark:you taught me a great deal too, how to through a footbal, how to harness my natural skill of the high jump and to bath so i can avoid "funk like a shoe"
By
That Guy, at December 05, 2005
Chris, typing errors are funny.
By
Anonymous, at December 05, 2005
You guys are the funniest Canadians ever.
Oh wait, there's still Mike Meyers.
Keep on rockin it.
By
Anonymous, at January 04, 2006
haha. you ran into Flava Flav?
By
Anonymous, at January 05, 2006
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