We's in California

new blog.

2007-03-21T21:37:00.000-07:00

Is here. Worst. Blog. Name. In a while.

That John Denver was full of sh...

2007-02-21T21:31:00.000-08:00

I am currently nested in my very own house in Winnipeg, Manitoba; it is a very snowy February night. We made it back to Winnipeg without making any wrong turns that took us halfway across the country in the wrong direction. We then went to Germany and Austria for 3 weeks to visit family.

This is what happened.

We've moved back to Winnipeg into the house we bought, are fixing it up, and I started working in downtown Winnipeg. I was REALLY close to moving back to LA (Irvine) to work for a video game company that currently makes the world's most popular MMORPG. I ended up getting flown down there for an interview and was offered a job. It would have been an absolute dream for me but I ultimately decided against it, many of the reasons why are found in what I've written in this weblog. It was the hardest decision I've had to make and I learned a lot about myself.

I have some thoughts about our trip which I will discuss on a yet to be named weblog I'll be starting in a few weeks: I will post it. The focus of the weblog will be about the role of women in Italian society between 1520 and 1525. Actually I don't think it will have a specific theme but will be about topics that require more thought and discussion in the public realm and will more than likely contain posts with slightly offensive titles such as:

March 5 - "We Love To Hate Winnipegers Who Move To Alberta And Although I Realize We Love To Hate Them I Still Do"
March 14 - "Asians Love Basketball"
March 22 - "I'd Be Fine With Stephen Harper Being The World's Supreme World Commander of the World"

... and so on and so forth. Any and all animals will be painted.

You're dialed in to "THE BUZZARD!!!!!"

2006-12-20T21:36:00.000-08:00

We are somewhere in Kansas right now, but I'm not exactly sure where. As I've been driving two 12+ hour days it's been a bit of a blur but I do know:

1) The worlds largest meteor crater is somewhere in Arizona but costs $15 to see. Doesn't the worlds largest meteor crater sounds like something that should be in the public domain? It is in fact one of the many "World's Largest" that we've seen along the way, many of which are probably the "The World's Only Example of a Larger than Normal X", X being dreamcatcher, ball of yarn, etc.

2) Somebody has re-recorded Tom Cochran's 1991 hit "Life is a Highway" and it is quite popular on the AM dial in northern Texas. When my best friend in grade 5 finds out he's gonna be pissed.

3) 93.9 "The Buzzard" in Kansas plays exactly the kind of music you would expect it to.

4) Most of the hotels on the I-56 in Kansas are in fact motels that look like soon after you check in you'll discover that you share birthdays with all of the guests in the motel and soon your night decends into a dillusional dream of murder and intrigue only to awaken to reality in the morning.

5) When it snows in New Mexico the state shuts down.

6) Most small farm towns in Arizona, New Mexico, northern Texas, and Kansas are hanging by a thread as corporate farms continue to do that funny thing they do.

7) Seeing high density feedlots leak their poison into the American heartland reminds me why I call myself a vegetarian but still eat meat once a week or when nobody I know is present.

Got to go: COPS is on.

Like I said...

2006-12-07T09:20:00.000-08:00

My hands were cold.

We's in California for 2 more weeks.

2006-12-05T18:43:00.000-08:00

We came, we saw, I lost my keys a few times. LA was a great experience but there aren't many reasons we can think of to stay here. As negative as I've generally been about the city, we really have met some great people here and are sorry to leave for that reason. We are driving back to Winnipeg and will hopefully arrive by Christmas Eve. Instead of going through the Rockies, we'll drive to Texas then hang a left. I'm not sure if I'll be continuing to write the weblog when we're in Winnipeg.

I'm going to be on Leno tommorrow playing the violin. My hands were cold.

Van Nuys at Night

2006-11-21T21:25:00.000-08:00

Since we already broke rule #1. Don't Live in Van Nuys, I thought I may as well break rule #2. Don't Be Outside in Van Nuys Past Dusk Wearing All Black (Even Your Hat) Carrying a Camera with No Lights on Your Bike.
The whole San Fernando valley is surprisingly dark at night, considering the sizeable population. Major streets run in perfect symmetry, cutting the valley into a perfect grid and are well lit, but the moment you turn off onto a street with houses, it turns pitch black. This is a typical street in Van Nuys at night. Look at that picture of nothing, amazing I know.

This is an intersection I cross regularly on my bike. Every morning it makes my day to see 37 shopping carts strewn about the grass by the bus stop. Apparently this issue has been brought to the attention of the civic gods of Van Nuys, and there's a hotline floating out there somewhere that you can call to get shopping carts picked up within 24 hours. I'm thinking of calling it and reporting these particular offending carts, recording my voice during the conversation, then buying an auto-dialer, then programming it to dial in at 6 am every morning so that when I ride by on my bike at 8 I quit blacking out and falling off from flashbacks of pushing carts for K-Mart in Brandon when I was 15. The people who do this need to be held responsible. But I digress. Often.

Around the corner we emerge upon another great Van Nuys institution: The Spearmint Rhino. If you've had a rough day at the office and consider yourself a gentlemen of higher social and moral standing, you will not stoop to the level of the other 17 strip clubs in Van Nuys, you will head straight to the Rhino. The parking lot looks suspiciously like the one in front of a Calabasas strip mall. That's weird. This must be the type place where hot babes are just dancing to pay their way through college. Since 1993. Must be med students.

If Winnipeg taught my anything, it's that businesses in any industry with the word "adult" in it is situated in a predominantly industrial part of town, and here it is no different. With auto mechanics, warehouses, and the like stretching out from the epicenter that is our second floor apartment, you never knows what you will stumble across in your wanderings through the industrial wasteland. Behold a graveyard of K-Mart K's.

With that, as if ordained by the stars, we return to the subject of K-Mart for the second time in one post: surely a sign of profound writing. And speaking of the profound, Here in Van Nuys has been added to my (horribly outdated and untended) blogroll because he keeps me in the know, Van Nuys style. I stole an orange from his tree when he wasn't looking. Thanks Andrew.

Nobody here knows what a tuque is.

2006-11-10T02:27:00.000-08:00

They've never heard of it. A Canadian from Ontario says they all called it a "sock hat".

Cults: Good or Bad?

2006-11-02T23:24:00.000-08:00

Until we moved out here I never realized how many famous cults came from and continue to come from California. I guess a lot of them arose from the "let's do weird stuff" vibe of the 60's, and I hear the 60's were pretty big here. Off the top of my head I can think of several: Charles Manson, Heaven's Gate, Prius owners, and Jim Jones. And I'm not event into cults! In order to learn more about cults and to educate myself to perhaps one day prevent myself from joining a cult unawares, we went to see Jonestown: The Life and Death of Peoples Temple at the Nuart, a movie house in Santa Monica.
Intermittently you can tell that the film industry is still active in LA, as the director of the documentary, the editor, a former member of the People's Church, and someone who's aunt died in Jonestown were present at the screening and interacted with the audience after the movie. Films about Jonestown have been made before, but apparently this is the first one to fairly portray those involved. Many others basically followed the formula: Man starts cult, man tricks stupid people, people commit mass suicide and murder. This film seemed to make the point that nobody just up and joins a cult, and I think they have a point there. You join a movement, or a student group, or in this case a church that became very very paranoid about the CIA, FBI, and the US government. I'm certain that many of the seemingly extreme bizarre cults that come and go seem very normal at the start but eventually you get in over your head and it becomes harder and harder to leave until it's too late. I know from experience, I used to belong the Winnipeg Microsoft .NET users group. Computer joke, just trust me, it's hilarious.

For my generation Jonestown is a vague story as it happened 3 or 4 years before we were born and I can't ever recall ever talking about it with someone my age. I'm sure that for most of us all we really have as a frame of reference are those terrible pictures of hundreds of dead people lying around in bright colored clothing. I never knew the details of what happened and watching them slowly come out in this film is quite an affecting experience, which culminates in the playing of a horrifying audiotape of that final day. Next time you're thinking of watching Miami Ink because there's nothing else on: watch this movie. Unless it's a new episode then, you know, weigh your options. Now that I think about it watch Miami Ink, you can always rent the movie.

Mattresses. On Kester.

2006-10-30T19:33:00.000-08:00

The recent arrival of mattresses to the sidewalks of Van Nuys has sparked alot of debate in the community. Many children have dissappeared in the night, and the number of mattresses lurking in the shadows grows with every hour. The violent nature of Kester Ave sidewalk couches, though they have known to be even deadly at times, pales in comparison to the Kester Ave mattress. Here we see the cunning nature of the sidewalk mattress as it hides behind the "bushes" (aka: street weeds) across from our apartment: lurking, waiting.....hungry.

Note the shiny BMW beside the abandoned lot, rotting furniture, and gang spray painted fence. It's more Los Angeles than Los Angeles.

And here's a picture of illegal immigrants getting a ticket for selling flowers on the side of the highway for cash. I suppose the previous sentence probably makes you angry no matter which side of the debate you're on. Talk amongst yourselves I guess. I just lay it out there....

Tommorrow, being Halloween, will not be as good at it usually is back in Winnipeg. I will definitely miss all the obscure and sarcastic costumes everyone comes up with, and I know that the short tight green shorts I manage to work into my costume each year will be sorely missed as well. But in keeping with the sarcastic spirit of a Winnipeg Halloween party, I will be going to the office as a Mac user. "Messy" hair, factory-ripped jeans, stubble, white headphones, etc. I do not expect it to go over well, and neither do I expect anyone there to get it. But that's ok because you know, I'll be working on my blog, editing a skate video, mixing some acid jazz music on my laptop, you know whatever.

A Dissertation in 2 Parts: The Currency of the Future and Learning Past The Age of 25: Possible or Unpossible?

2006-10-19T20:14:00.000-07:00

Part 1
Many many many many people in LA cite the fact that "Well, I have a pretty good job" as the only reason they are living here. LA is indeed great for jobs and if you were a classy bloke from the 30's, you would probably exclaim that "Jobs abound in Los Angeles". In Dayna's case it doesn't make any difference since she's a nurse and there is a large shortage in the US. Because her hospital is a terrible place to work (and will be closing in the near future due to certain, ahem, social factors) they are trying their best to retain and recruit nurses to little avail. One of their incentives, rather than provide a safe and manageable working environment, is to give you a super sweet Ford Mustang.

Sign a 2 year contract: free Ford Mustang for 2 years!

Deliver over 40 babies on your shift: you've been entered in a draw for a Ford Mustang!

Feeling helpless from handling twice as many patients as you're legally allowed to: It's Ford Mustang time.

Your average nurse in LA is a 45 year Filipino mother of 4. What she really needs right now is to be able to retire at a decent age, not what Vanilla Ice drives with the rag-top down so his hair can blow. This really begs the question: Are Mustangs the new currency? In 20 years we very well may be saying things like:

"Did you hear about Jer's new job?"
"Yeah that's pretty cool, I heard he's making over six and a half Stangs a year!"
"That's awesome, he's a good guy."

OR

".00119, .0012, .0013, .0014, .0015 makes .002 Mustangs. Thanks for shopping at Kmart."

Part 2
I know I've talked about the fact that I'm learning to play the violin before, but I would like to take this opportunity to again express how bloody hard it is to play. This fact may very well be the only reason I continue to slog away making actually very little progress for the amount of time I've invested. This may be an arduous and foolish journey I've embarked on since anybody I've talked to that plays at a proficient level has been playing since they were 10. The attraction for me is to see if it's possible to learn something completely new at my age. If one thinks about how many genuinely new things the average person learns before the age of 25 (which is the threshold I've just crossed) compared to skills learned after that age, it becomes quite clear what's going on. I am trying to figure out if this is a result of our general disposition as adults or rather an actual mental and physical inability to do so.

I recently had the opportunity to see a classical quartet play a concert of baroque music and the violinist was amazing. World class. All I could think of while watching her was how many hours, days, and years have been invested into that single skill. And at the risk of sounding cliché, you don't see that much anymore. Perhaps I'm not appreciative of the skills that I already posses. I suppose you don't become a C# .NET software developer overnight. I takes many many years of memorizing acronyms for bad technologies that still sound good in an interview. VB, C++, AJAX, MSRS, NCAA, NAACP, KKK, the list goes on.

PS: I know a girl who when she punches, she punches like this:

Most girls punch like this. Notice the position of the thumb. That doesn't work. You'll break your hand.

I'll have whatever's in that bag.

2006-10-03T01:25:00.000-07:00

This week on the bike path home from Woodland Hills to Van Nuys a person on a bike far ahead of me threw their Gatoraide bottle on the ground when they finished it. He was on one of those weird high bicycles with the pedals 3 feet off the ground and the super high handle bars. Tired of the insane amounts of pure garbage lining the streets of our neighborhood, I picked it up and and, going one more block that I needed to, stopped at the next stop told him "Excuse me, you dropped your bottle." It was at that point I noticed his gangbanger t-shirt, a small suspicious looking duffle bag on his handlebars, a 3 inch scar on his forehead, and the distinct smell of a life criminal activity and personal failure. I also noticed I had stopped him at part of the Orange Line bike path where there is nothing but concrete walls and nobody else in sight.

He looked back at me and said "I know."

At this point I should have rode away, but instead I said something to the effect of: "Well, it's not really good for the environment or the neighborhood."

To which he replied: "F-ck you, I'll f-ck'n shoot you." and then glanced at the duffle bag hanging off his handlebars.

I guess this is the first time I've been personally received a death threat by someone who was probably carrying a gun. More that being scared I just got really angry and tried to understand why someone's reaction to being told that littering is a bad thing is to threaten them with violence and death. Obviously at that point I turned around and just bike back home, disposing of the plastic bottle when I got home.

The people I've talked to here about this have said things like: "Well, yeah, in LA you don't just walk up to people like that.". I don't buy this and it's a pathetic response. To shrug your shoulders things like that happening your own city means something. And it's not good.

You Haven't Had a Cheese Sandwich Until You've Been To...

2006-10-02T22:32:00.000-07:00

Indianapolis. I really is one great city. It has a vibrant walkable downtown, great affordable houses very close to downtown, and a more than one university close to downtown. We saw some neighborhoods like this one that were 5 minutes from the center of the city and looked like Clear Lake...without those punks from Minnidosa aka "the Dose" wandering the streets. I never realized how great middle America was, compared to LA anyway.

I've been to Minneapolis quite a few times, but only appreciated it as a great city the last time I was there. Perhaps this is because in my youth I used to get so excited about the band I was about to see that I pretty much blocked everything else out. Who could pay attention to the city when you just drove 5 hours from Winnipeg in a blizzard in the middle of January to see Lagwagon?

Indianapolis is definitely a football town. The day we left there was a Colts game and the city was pretty much shut down. For all the apathetic Jets fans in Winnipeg, it proves you don't need "rich people" in a metropolis to support a professional sports team, you just need a city with passion for the team. I suppose the gagigabillions of dollars in NFL television rights helps as well, so what do I know. And don't kid yourself, this is at least 2 hours before the game.

The day we left we decided to drive around and find the part of town that the Indianapolis Board of Tourism didn't want you to see, and I think we found it. The defining characteristic of these areas was the combination of obvious visible poverty mixed with many many gorgeous old houses for sale. I think all the houses for sale has much to do with the families and people wanting to have families that are moving away from places like LA, San Fran, and more expensive places on the east coast to places like Indianapolis where you can
A) afford a house
B) trust the public school system.
C) paint your ass cheeks blue and walk around downtown before the football game with a Bud Light in one hand and your 7 year old in the other.

The cheese sandwich I ordered was so big it would make you drop out of highschool.

Thanks to all for the suggestions on what to see, but we were already back in LA by the time I could check the site. Plus this cheese sandwich took up pretty much the whole weekend so....

LA County Dept of Health and Safety Notice 3847B.22 (rev C)

2006-09-23T13:23:00.000-07:00

Although this policy has been followed for quite some time now in Los Angeles, we would like to officially inform you that real cups will no longer be used. So please, no more real cups. Serving coffee to customers in real glass cups will not only lead to swift punitive measures, but also to financial ruin due to the obvious astronomical overhead of purchasing and washing real cups, the loss of respect in your community and, in some rare cases, will result in bleeding from the eyes, ears, and nose.

Recently Dayna and I set out to find a place in the Valley where you can sit down and get coffee in a real cup and wasn't a Starbucks or a Coffee Bean. These two things mutually exclusive to begin with. We've tried this many times before to no avail, which would explain our shock and awe when we found such a place on Ventura Blvd. A small locally owned coffee shop. It had everything we've all come to expect from any local coffee shop worth its own salt:

Badly painted paintings by a painter someone who works there knows.
Mismatched, wait, no, eclectic tables and chairs, each with 13 layers of paint.
The girl behind the counter with short hair and one of those things on her chin.
The huge assortment of herbal tea with flavors like mother earth zen, earthy zen buddha earth, and raspberry femi-choco blast.
The table of asians.
The white unshaven university student in the corner with messy papers all over the place, but all he's been doing for the last 3 hours is playing with his iBook figuring out to get as many local hot babes as possible onto his myspace friends list.

And here's the kicker: paper cups, even if you're not taking it to go.

For shame I say, for shame. Why is this? I've seen this in other coffee shops trying to give off that indie environmentalist chique, but they still use paper cups no matter what. I know in Canada that still even corporate chains like Jim Hortons will actually give you a real cup if you're sitting in. And who can forget the Robbins Donuts cups of yester-yore: beige, yellow and brown with just a hint of cigarette smoke aftertaste. What's that? You say they're recycled? Doesn't matter. Although the environmental concerns do...concern...me, I feel compelled to resist our generation's apparent (and appalling for that matter) disregard for class the public space. Think about it, we are the least classy generation in quite a while. And I can say all this because, you all know, I'm such a classy guy myself. So let's bring back real cup, if not for our children....

I'm writing this on a plane by the way. We're going to Indianapolis for the weekend. It's to see Sufjan Stevens and it's our 2nd anniversary (in that order). When you read this please pray for Dayna, she's sitting beside a plane talker. I was disappointed when I discovered that NWA stands for Northwest Airlines, and not the rap group from the late 80's. Now that would be an airline! I hope there aren't any Snakes on This Plane.

The Mighty LA River.

2006-09-11T21:06:00.000-07:00

The LA river is a river to behold. From Canoga to Compton it carries food, hope, and used needles to those who live downstream. Looking at the LA river makes me think of what a normal river would look like after a nuclear holocaust. I think if I were to be on an environment committee that went around to schools and set up displays about preserving the environment, all I would do is bring a giant picture of the LA river on a poster board. I realize that there are 15 million people in LA and any resources the city has should be put toward essential services, but it seems as though they've just given up on this eyesore. I suppose I'm amazed that water even comes out our tap when we turn it on. Flying over LA on a clear day, you can see massive resevoires somewhere northeast of the city and I for one am grateful.

Last week I was filling out a form at the bank and didn't know the date so I turned to ask the other person at the table and it was Sinbad. He told me it was the 8th. I continue filling out my form and when I got to the counter, the teller said everything looked fine except the date was wrong and that it was the 7th, meaning I had to fill in the form again. I asked her "Is that Sinbad?" She told me that indeed it was and that "...he comes in here all the time." To which I replied "Well then are you sure because, you know, Sinbad over there told me it wa the 8th". To no avail, I had to waste another 10 minutes.

Fill it with petroleum distillate and re-vulcanize my tires, post haste.

2006-09-04T19:53:00.000-07:00

Finally made it to the LA central library. The interior design is actually quite similar to Winnipeg's new central library. The exterior however, is a bit different as you can see. LA is ripe with art deco buildings, it's awesome.

Like this building here. So art deco.

I"m not sure if it was the smelly bums or the lack of "what's new" shelves on the social sciences floor, but I never stayed the whole afternoon. I did manage to use the self checkout machine, which I must say is a lot better than those ones from the 70's in the Dafoe library that looked like they were going grind your arm into a pulp if you came near them.

In a classic case of overcompensation for the vulgarities of ones youth (which by my count ended forty some days ago), I've been trying to learn the violin since we moved here. And starting a few months ago I've even gone so far as taking lessons. The building on Melrose where I'm taking them doesn't feel like it's in LA. It's quite old by LA standards and has..get this...a small courtyard. From the courtyard a staircase leads upstairs to the main office and a narrow outdoor balcony. Music wafts (There is no other word for it. Really.) through several of the windows lining the balcony while a french mime sits in the corner with a scarf and a glass of wine, and smokes his cigarettes in long slow breaths. Ok that's not true, but I like going there every week. It feels like an actual place, not a 76 or a Jamba Juice.

So today after driving all the way there, turns out the receptionist was wrong and all the classes were indeed cancelled, even though I called earlier to ask. I was in such a sour mood on the way home that not even Jay Leno driving a ridiculous Monty Burns car from the 30's with goggles on could make me smile. Always leave a camera in the car.

There goes Jay into the sunset. You're not funny Jay. Even when I wanted you to be.

Croc hunter: 1832 - 2006.

Weekend, I Prefer the Weekend

2006-08-31T22:42:00.000-07:00

So someone's got one of those hot new messenger style "over the shoulder" bags. And if you're thinking "Hey, if you're so hardcore, why do you wear big ol' crosstrainers to ride a 10 speed?" well don't even think it, because I just bought some guy from Santa Rosa's smelly old cycling shoes off Ebay for $10.

This past weekend we took a trip down to Long Beach, the main point of which was for me to see the harbor where all the goods from China arrive on ships. The scale of the operation was amazing. It's the second largest port in the US and they unload over 18,000 semi truck sized containers a day. That's a lot of semi truck sized containers. There's something about how the ships pull in and the cranes start unloading it one by one that makes you ( or maybe just me) feel like this all just *might* be a few thousand guys just playing around like they're 6 years old. I'd imagine that they just hum and whistle all day and that the ship captain makes engine noises with his mouth when he pulls out of the harbor. The one guy who sits up top and works the crane just sort of over-exaggerates moving the gears back and forth randomly and moves his head side-to-side making squeaky crane noises with his mouth, and all the while the containers are magically loaded on the trucks. There's a whole category of jobs that seem to be basically grown up versions of curious hyper 6 year old boys on a Saturday afternoon. Writing computer programs is not one of those jobs. But it's still awesome. I need to go back for a better look and a tour to verifiy that this isn't actually what's going on. Wouldn't that be something. Dayna was really very good about the whole thing for someone who is not...you know...into really big cargo ships. Next time I'll get some pictures.

This weekend I'm planning on visiting the LA central library branch in downtown LA. So if you think pictures of me in slightly wet t-shirts are amazing, wait until you hear my fantastical tales of wonder about microfiche, hot librarians, and the technological marvels of the self checkout machine. Put me and the Dewey Decimal system the same room and you better bring a helmet. And a digital camera. And a laptop with an internet connection so you can write about it, add the pictures you took, and put it up on a website where people you know can read about it.

Couches on Kester

2006-08-25T18:46:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was very lucky to record a very rare specimen, the red Guatamalan sleep-e-z. Known to inhabit mainly intersections in Van Nuys, it blends in to its surroundings waiting for next tired day worker returning home with a pocketful of hard earned (tax free) cash. Yesterday this particular couch ate 4 people. Already today it appears as though this couch has moved on to another Valley neighborhood, but next summer it will brave the heat and migrate back to Van Nuys for another feeding season as it and other couches like it have been doing for thousands of years.

Oops, I Have a Web Log

2006-08-23T21:33:00.000-07:00

Today upon finishing my daily after-work Van Nuys ritual of checking my apartment for people that aren't supposed to be inside the apartment, I was suddenly inspired to go to Dayna's work, get the camera from the car, and put some stuff up on the web log. I took some pictures on 4 block ride back home.

I didn't believe Dayna's stories about how many sidewalk couches there were on her way to work. I saw them and I still don't believe it.

Did I say sidewalk couches? I meant sidewalk computers.

Some English person fighting the power. Look carefully. I fought the power already twice this week when I specified my Starbucks coffee size in English not Latin. Hey that's one letter away from Latino. Coincidence? Yes.

This sign is for a corner cell phone store. It actually says "No ID Required!" in Spanish in big letters. Ok?

We went to Winnipeg shorty after the last post for two weeks which was great. Since being back in Van Nuys I haven't posted anything because after putting up with my shennanigans for two weeks I didn't think anyone cared. Turns out they don't, but my mom is getting anxious so here it is.

We missed an apparently insane California heat wave that was hotter than a Chinese toilet and this is what our plants looked like when we got back.

But it was worth it because we got to see this.

And this.

And this.

Home Hardware.
Canada Post.
The horizon.

It was great.

The Second Cool Thing about Los Angeles

2006-07-08T20:12:00.000-07:00

Last week we saw the Shins (aka: The Band Without A Bad Song) and Belle and Sebastian with the LA Philharmonic at the Hollywood Bowl. I promise not to rant and rave about the show itself, whichsoawesomeohmygoodnessthebesti'veever seenandtotallyamazingblahablah, but rather the bowl itself. I think there are a lot of classical concerts held here as well as other contemporary shows and concerts. The premis that everyone seems to be in tune with is that you bring a picnic basket filled with food and wine and have a picnic before and while the show is on.

I almost ate a whole thing of black licorice.

About half the seats are normal but quite spacious, the other half actually looked like they had little tables in front of them. The acoustics: spot on. The crowd: subdued yet responsive, realizing the've been handed something precious and rarely given by anyone in our society, trust from the establishment to consume alcohol brought from home in a civilized and reponsible manner. The whole evening was truly beautiful.

Dayna managed the two best quips of the night:
a) "What is this, Springs?" when the camera did a closeup of the guitar during a solo. (That's a Winnipeg one.)
b) "You would have to." under her breath when the annoying lady behind us informed her friend she would pay $5000 to sleep with the lead singer of the band.

And I think you all know by now what the first cool thing about LA is: It is, of course, the fact that it wouldn't take me long to get a hold of a really really big hat. Let me know.

Sports Muffins!

2006-06-30T17:54:00.000-07:00

Since this will be the first Independance Day we've ever been in the States for, I thought I'd look around online and find out exactly "what it's all about". I dug up the official statements on Independance Day from the US Gvmt and compared them to the statement on Canada Day from the Canadian Gvmt.

The US website states:
"Independence Day honors the birthday of the United States of America and the signing of the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776. It's a day of picnics and patriotic parades, a night of concerts and fireworks, and a reason to fly the American flag."

The Canadian website states...well it's a little more verbose:

"..proclamation signed by the Governor General, Lord Monck, called upon all Her Majesty's loving subjects..."

".. government has arranged for an annual observance of Canada's national day with the Secretary of State of Canada in charge of the coordination. The format provided for...."

"...The format changed in 1968 with the addition of multicultural and professional concerts held..."

"..A new formula was developed in 1980 whereby the National Committee (the federal government organization charged with planning Canada's Birthday celebrations) stressed and sponsored the development of..."

"...Canada Day Committees are established in each province and territory to plan, organize and coordinate the Canada Day..."

The differences in definitions between Canada and the States are extremely clear, and these exact differences carry over so perfectly into so many other aspects of society it's laughable. There's the good ol' USA, right to the point, doesn't want to confuse anybody because, well, people tend to get confused easily down here. Not much room for nuance and sometimes that's a good thing, sometimes it's bad. Note the assertion to "Fly the flag, dammit!" On the 4th of July I want to find a good old fashion parade and paint the Union Jack on my bicep. I mean the American Flag.

The Canadian definition obviously leans more in the, ummmm, other direction. Lots of careful, careful, careful planning. Multiculturalism (tm). Committees and more committees. Although I must say the careful planning results in nothing less heartfelt and endearing. I still remember when I was about 6 years old gathering with the entire town (literally) on the outskirts of McCreary, Manitoba and watching the fireworks get shot over Lake Erwin, the very same lake that my friend Kelly Keharski's dad once rode over with a ski-doo.....in the summer.

Both days are pretty awesome so in these partisan days of discussion and debate, give some respek to both where respek is due.
And if life gives you lemons, there's only one thing to do. Make SPORTS MUFFINS! We did!

We Be Fronting the VNB.

2006-06-27T13:28:00.000-07:00

Last night there were two six foot cops in our living room. This whole process began when I fell asleep without locking the apartment door. I was in the living room on the couch because that's where the AC is and someone came in during the night, stole the change jar by our door, stole my wallet, must have walked into the living room, saw me sleeping on the couch, and then took off. So the two LAPD officers in our livingroom last night, they were classic cops: Nice and tall, shiny boots, absolutely no sideburns at all. These are the types of guys I want patrolling the streets. Apparently someone will be by to take some prints on our door in the next few days. I feel like buying a big sombrero hat and when they come I'll say "I don't know officer, but they did leave this " and then dramatically pull out a 5 foot wide hat from the closet. The cops informed us that Van Nuys "is not the greatest area". We also learned about a gang called the Van Nuys Barrios, some Mexican gang who's headquarters are "over there" as he points out window. What? Anyway, I'm looking forward to months of hassle to get another social security card (Canadian and American), drivers license (Canadian and American), and student card which hasn't been valid for 3 years but I was still using to get discounts at movies (Canadian and American).

I know if you're reading this it's really because you want all the details about Code Camp. Let's just say c:\dos\run. I did meet a guy who was married to one of the ladies in the Danielson Family. So not only was he cool by association, but also by demeanor. Armed with this knowledge we then proceeded to make fun of the band that was scheduled to play at Code Camp, despite the fact that the Database Administrator at our table told me that last year they were awesome. I left before they started.

I stopped to try and keep my toes on the nose in Del Mar on the way back, which you can see is beautiful. God Bless California.

ps: I updated my blogroll. Check it.

But I want to take my sweater off. It's HOT!

2006-06-17T12:51:00.000-07:00

It's getting really really hot here. So hot you could fry an egg. In the summer apparently all the smog from LA seeps down into the valley and just sits there like a big lid keeping us nice and hot. A few days ago it was over 100 degrees. Celcius. Actually Fahreheit but that's still about 38 in Canada degrees. Oi.
As everyone knows there are two kinds of people in this world: Those who have paid $10 for a vodka and orange juice, and those who think it's insane to do so. Ok, there are 3 types of people because I'm actually both of those people now, after paying $28 for three drinks at a concert venue on Hollywood, plus a two dollar tip because the bartender made me laugh when he said $28. I also didn't want to look thrifty, you know, those those kinds of guys who don't pay $9.33 USD for a drink. Why did I do it? My cheap brother's gonna punch me in the face next time he sees me just for doing so, and I deserve it.

I would like to quickly re-visit why I don't like the American coverage of the World Cup, because I think I've pinpointed exactly why I don't like it. The announcers don't just call the game, they give advice. And they have new advice every five minutes. I really don't think someone from Topeka, Kansas has any business giving anyone from the slums of Sao Poalo whose name starts with R and ends in O (which is Brazil's whole team and most of the support staff) advice and soccer tips for 90 minutes. In 2002 on TSN in Canada I fondly remember the announcing as concise, classy, and informed. It also happened to be British. I'm actually cheering for the Amerikans this year. The soccer world would collectively soil themselves if they won, let a lone make the finals (which they won't). Here's a screenshot of how I now watch and record the games. Brilliant and still just pennies a glass. Except for the twenty some hundred dollar computer. I realize now that Dayna and I have jumped about 80 years in technology in one fell swoop seeing as our last TV was I about a 3 inch black and white with that plastic brown fake wood siding and rabbit ears. It was the new model that plays "talkies".

So. If you think you know how to have a good time, I've got a little news for you. You don't. Unless you're like me and are going to San Diego next week for a little something called Code Camp. And if you don't think it will rock, check out the Strat on their web site. It's a Fender. I actually love going to these things because I total nerd. It's going to be me and (hopefully) hundreds of older male computer programmers that know how to read binary speak Klingon. I convinced my work to foot the bill. The only problem is if you look at the schedule of seminars you can see an obvious conflict. Do they honestly expect me to choose between "Object Relational Mapping with Nhibernate" and "EJB 3: A Comparison with EJB 2"?! I mean COME ON! Jer knows that if you ever do have any problems with a computer, the first thing you're going to want to do is make sure your SoundBlaster is working. Anyway I'm going to Code Camp and nobody can stop me.

You know you're in LA when:

You see a car that's painted like a Louis Vuitton handbag.

You know you've been in LA too long when:

You see a car that's painted like a Louis Vuitton handbag, and think it's just fabulous!

Artsy Picture Alert! Artsy Picture Alert!

2006-06-10T13:19:00.000-07:00

I call this one: The End of Print Media.

I call this one: The End of Print Media Where I Actually Get Over the Fence and Partly Ruin My New Asics.

These were both taken from the bike path on the Orange Line you've heard so much about here. Being someone who's obsessed with breakfast diner's, I also enjoy reading a good newspaper at a good breakfast diner. Yet being someone who is 25 years old and does computers for a living, I get 95% of my news from the web and can no longer do this for the next month lest I prematurely catch the score of a game I'm taping. But the pickins for papers are slim in LA for someone like me who has a bent for good reporting. The two most widely available newspapers in LA are the LA Times which 9 times out of 10 has a story about a poor Mexican family in the slums of Guadalajara being supported by an illegal immigrant working in LA , or La Opinion, the Mexican version of the LA Times which has the same story, except the La Opinion reporter is the one the LA Times wrote their story about. The NYT is better, but not by much.

Although I've got the recording of the games on our computer down to an artform, American coverage of the World Cup has been as regrettable as expected. As a small consolation there are two announcers for ESPN2 that have British accents, but overuse of British colloquialisms by one of them in an attempt to keep American viewers entertained gets a bit much after 90 minutes. I can only take "puts it in the back of the ol' onion bag" so many times. And this is what American announcers sound like at times:

Commentator 1: "Here's Viera. He plays for Paris St. Germain in Paris."
Commentator 2: " Paris. Now it says here that's in France."

There's also the obligatory explaining of rules throughout the game. Today on ABC someone actually said "Now he doesn't want to get a second yellow, because that means he will get a red and is kicked out of the game." Ugh. I miss Graham Leggit. I seem to remember TSN in Canada getting the real European coverage, not this tripe.

So how about the overtly PC and truly Canadian handling of those dudes in Toronto. Mmmmm, sharia. The other thing Canada needs to get ready for is the breakfast diner Dayna and I and an unidentified Korean-Canadian girl are going to open. The special: The Peotry Slam. That's two eggs bacon, and a side of lesbian angst. Yes! But seriously, we want to open a breakfast diner. Peace out.

So a Muslim, a Christian, and Jew walk into an authentic 50's diner....

2006-06-08T00:16:00.000-07:00

That title is just there to grab your attention. So now that I have you, let's dive into how I'm going to watch the World Cup this year.

I have not had a TV for over 4 years up until 2 days ago. This all began in university when I, and I'm not sure exactly how to word this, had no money. After a while a realized that what I had lost in hours a week of watching mostly rubbish, I had actually gained in time to pursue more worthy endeavors like how to move apartments 5 times in 4 years. In addition this afforded me the opportunity to inform 3rd year sociology major girls that "Oh, I don't actually have a TV.". I immediately became one of the coolest dudes in the class. Until I wrote this. Note the subject matter then just skip to my relevant credentials at the end of the article. Beautiful.

For the last 2 years I've been able to tell people we don't have TV when in reality we download many of shows we know we want to watch which makes it slightly better because at least we've deliberately picked our own poison. But then comes the World Cup and this time around I'm without a brother who compulsively tapes every game and snaps if he finds out the score before he watches it. So last week I poked around the web for a while I realized we are not at the point where we can subscribe and watch the games live online. After personally vowing to change this for 2010, I bit the bullet and called up Adelphia (the local So-Cal TV provider in Van Nuys) and am now plugged into the highway. The information super-highway that is Cable TV. It's running into the back of our computer through a usb "thing" and I will be able to tape every game. And now that we have TV in the apartment you may notice my thoughts become more repetitive and my vocabulary a lot more....worse. After coming back to having cable TV, I've noticed that every show on every channel has worked a gay guy fixing something into the premise.

And what's a blog entry without me talking about the neighborhood. The image on the right is:
A) A Guatemalan farmer scything himself space for homestead on the outskirts of Huehuetenango.
B) A Mexican cowboy in 1425.
C) A guy in the empty lot across the street from us.

My next post may be about computers and how funny it is to Dayna and I that people can refer to any field in which technology is engaged as "computers". For example: "Dayna, what does your husband do?". "He is working for a health care company writing an online medical record system.". "O yeah, my husband is also in computers". What does that mean!? "He's in computers." Ridiculous. He could work in a Radio Shack or he could be the guy who started Yahoo. Or better yet "He does computers". Again, ridiculous.

"What do you do?" "Computers." "Ok, here's a gun because that answer made no sense."

But what is amazing about living in California is that if we're looking for a product online we never have to wonder if they ship to California because chances are they're from California. And people here actually use Craigslist. It's quite amazing. On Ebay half the items I look at I can pick up in my car as opposed to haggling a $75 shipping fee to Winnipeg, Mb, Kanada.

So a Muslim, a Christian, and Jew walk into a Streets concert at the Henry Fonda Theatre this Saturday. Oh man I've got a Hackney accent already. Or is it Cockney?

Dodging the draft one week at a time.

2006-05-29T21:03:00.000-07:00

We got a fresh taste of Canadiana last week when we went to BC to visit my sis and her husband. I somehow managed to smooth talk (ie: quiver my chin, sniff a few times, and pee just a little bit in my pants) my way past both the US and Canadian border agencies without a passport or a proof of citizenship of either countries. This proves my theory which I am constantly presenting to Dayna that I would make a really good spy.

We covered most of the bases: Hike in the Rockies, Grandville Island in Vancouver, golf and a dog show. We learned that only people with dogs in the show ever really go to the dog show, but it was still awesome. Vancouver sure is creeping inland. It's sad to see 75 year old farmhouses get surrounded by new suburbs and mansions filled with 6 Indian families a piece, but I suppose people need to live somewhere. Above we see Gareth intently following his shot from almost in the bush as it goes directly into the bush. After this I ran and jumped onto a moving golf cart in a very spy-like manner.

Talking to friends in Winnipeg it sounds like the movie biz is really swinging into full gear there. It's funny that star sightings seem to be on the rise in Manitoba, but here in LA all we've seen the last few months is a minor character from Gilmor Girls (Dayna made the spot, really) get up from a table beside us, leave a weak tip, and drive off in a rusted out Jetta. Ouch.

This post is me trying to get myself "back on the blog". I did remember Memorial Day and observed it by trying to figure out God Save the Queen on the violin before I was distracted by an episode of Arrested Development. Mark if you ever read this I am so so sorry it took me so so long. Today was the American Memorial Day but being in Van Nuys most people are actually Mexican so other than listening to NPR sadly we didn't hear or see alot.

Although spy training and yoga master parties in Beverly Hills have really been cutting into my weeknight blogging sessions I promise the next one will be about something. Wait for it....no no no....wait....

"Well you wouldn't be so tired if you weren't up IM-ing all night." - I recently overheard those extact words